Sunday, December 13, 2015

Why I No Longer Support 'Fight the New Drug'

Fight the New Drug has made huge strides for the anti-porn community through education about what's wrong with it and how to overcome it. For a long time, I was a staunch supporter of the movement; I even wrote for their blog for a few months.

But since that time as I've become more aware of what they're posting and it's frustrating.

First, they regularly post pictures on their Facebook page of "fighters" who send in pictures of them wearing FTND swag. But have you noticed that every single one of them looks like a model? Are no regular people sending in pictures? Doubtful. It reminds me of a Carls Jr's statement: "We believe in putting hot models in our commercials because ugly ones don't sell burgers."

Another thing is their recent post that says: "Real men don't have time to search for women online, they're too busy searching for ways to love the woman in front of them."

Instantly, I thought of a meme I saw a while ago that says: "Dear girls, immodesty is like rolling around in manure. Yes, you'll get attention, but mostly from pigs. Sincerely, real men."

Shaming someone isn't the way to get them to change. It's also a terrible way to treat someone who is trying to change. And this isn't the first time I've read something like this on FTND's Facebook page or their blog.

Let me be clear. Just because I don't support the organization anymore doesn't mean I don't believe they're doing good. For example, I also don't support March of Dimes or St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. It's not because I don't think they're helping people, rather because they spend so much of their donors' money on marketing, fundraising and salaries, which make up roughly one-third of donations. I'd rather support organizations that are more efficient with my donation.

The same goes with FTND. I don't want to support an organization that's so focused on its message that it only features "beautiful" people fighting for their cause. I also don't want to support an organization that's supposedly dedicated to helping people like me learn about and overcome my addiction that turns around and makes me feel like I'm not a real man. I'm a real man because I'm fighting it. Is my recovery perfect? No. But have I given up? Absolutely not.

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