Recovery Goals for 2016

Recovery is hard work. I wish sometimes that I could just ask God to force me to do everything I need to; that I could literally give Him my will so He could make me do whatever is necessary. Of course, that's not how it works and it won't keep me from going back to it in the future.

In the past, I've been terrible at setting and reaching goals. After all, it takes time to set a goal, make plans to achieve it and assess and reassess my progress throughout the whole process. I'd much rather spend that time doing something else.

But over the last couple years, I've learned to improve on my goal-making skillz, specifically in setting ones that are both meaningful and attainable, and creating quantifiable action plans to ensure that I maintain motivation and actually have a chance of succeeding.

So here goes...

1. Attend group at least once a week - I'll be honest, I don't like going to group. I haven't ever since we lived in Arkansas, where we had a missionary who was going to school to become a therapist and decided that we were his guinea pigs. But I know that it's an important part of a healthy recovery, so I need to make sure I attend every week. Because of the schedule in my area, it may not always be possible to do it in person, so I'll also utilize the Sexaholics Anonymous phone meetings.

2. Daily gospel study and prayer - One of the things I've struggled with in the past is shaming myself if I don't read X amount of minutes or if I don't study the Book of Mormon every day. This year, I want to just focus on spending 10-15 minutes a day studying the gospel, whether that's reading the scriptures, a biography about one of the prophets or apostles or the Ensign. I just need to fill my life with goodness every day. As for prayer, I've struggled with it lately. So not only do I want to make sure I pray at least twice a day on my knees, but I want to take some time every day, 5-10 minutes, and meditate.

3. Exercise - When healthy, I want to exercise at least 4 days a week. I say "when healthy" because over the past few months I've hurt my back twice, both times it's hurt to sit let alone move around enough to consider it exercise. Walking is probably still on the table, though, so I'll do what I can.

4. Reach out - I'm having a hard time setting this goal because I've royally sucked at reaching out. I don't know why. It may be that I'm ashamed to ask for help, or that I want to do it on my own — or that, in the moment, I want to give in. It doesn't really matter why, all that matters is that I work on improving. Because I've done a pretty good job at preventing certain triggers but once I'm in the moment, it's difficult for me to react well. So the goal for now is to reach out at least once a day when I'm struggling. That can be to my bishop, another addict or my Facebook support group.

I was going to add more, but the more goals I have the worse I tend to do at reaching them. So that'll be it for now.